This blog is not sponsored by Jack Links... unless they would like to sponsor me.
Lately, I have been compared to a sasquatch... repetedly. I mostly blame my love for Jack Links beef jerky. Or... maybe my burly physique and general hairiness are the reason. Who knows? I am going to take some time to compare a sasquatch to myself. Perhaps I am one of the long lost American great apes.
1)I have a great profile turn-of-the-head move.
Notice how I lack the conical head shape of a sasquatch. Also I have a job and wear clothes. Dang hippie sasquatches.
Sasquatches also have their own profile turn... yet it's not as graceful.
Actually that picture looks like me on that camping trip in the Blue Ridge. So that's what that hiker was doing behind that bush.
2)Sasquatches love rock so much, they throw a music festival every year.
I also love rock... but my posse doesn't look like this.
3)There are movies about sasquatches.
Holy crap! If I could get a movie made where I look that awesome... then call me a sasquatch!
Sadly if I had a movie made about me I would look like this.
Da! Da! Daaaaah!
Actually, I love Captain Chaos... so that wouldn't be so bad. Also, Zach Galifianakis is supposed to play that role in the Cannonball Run remake. Everyone says I am Zach's twin. I'm seeing a trend here.
4)Homer Simpson was mistaken for a sasquatch (actually a big foot... but for this comparison, I'll let it slide).
I am often compared to Homer. Maybe there is something to this sasquatch comparison. Besides... I hear the ladies all love a big sasquatch.
Dang it! A sasquatch can't get no love? I have plenty of friends, woman!
No comments:
Post a Comment